my side of the couch

funny how some things adjust so quickly after the end of a relationship and some things don't.

tony's been gone, oh, i'd say a little over a month.  probably after about a week, i had migrated to the middle of the bed.  however, i still refuse to move from the left side of the couch...it just feels weird to sit over on his side.  it would be easier for me if i moved over, i'm right handed so to get a drink off of the side table i have to reach across myself, but it's like my subconscious staunchly refuses to budge.

tony stayed in the apartment for a few days last week - he wanted to take care of some things to prepare for an interview, so i went to stay with a friend.  it felt like he was invading my space, never mind that we both lived here for over five years.  after a month it was all mine.  staying at my friend's kinda highlighted the fact that i am actually at some point going to have to move.  right now he's paying for the apartment but that's not a long term solution and i certainly can't afford to live here.  i don't want to move, i'm quite comfy here...but it will have to happen.

work is ok, i'm trying to focus but i'm having a hard time...i cry at the drop of a hat and sometimes it takes me all day to write a letter.  at least i have a job though so i need to do what i can to keep it.

weight hasn't gone up, which is good....but it hasn't gone down, which is bad.