Today is my third wedding anniversary. it's so crazy to believe - it feels like an eternity. In that three years is a four month breakup as well as 1.5 years of couple's counseling, and we still have a long way to go. i'm glad that we made it this far, but if you had told me this was going to be the case on November 2, 2007 - i think i may have changed my mind. there are so many flaws in this relationship - there are in every relationship, but we've got some pretty big ones. part of me is afraid i'm wasting what's left of my youth in a dead end marriage - that in 20 years i'll have wished i had left today.
*sigh* i know, i should stop being so romantic.
anyway, we're going out to dinner, which of course strikes fear into my heart. are we going to spend our celebration fighting over what i order? or will i bite the bullet and order something besides salad? either way i expect to see a gain in the morning because i didn't make it to the gym today (fuck fuck fuck). problem is, i'm at the point where i really can't order anything with fat anyway, lest i spend the rest of the night in the toilet. who needs laxatives?
i really really want to reach a certain weight by birthday next wednesday. Do you think five pounds is too unrealistic? i don't have much water weight to lose, so it'd pretty much have to be real weight.
hmm.
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