ughhhhh

i've come down with a shitty cold.  my H had it last week and i knew it was only a matter of time before i got it too.  i woke up on friday with a sore throat and i was like....fuuuuuuck.  so the whole wedding weekend was spent in a haze of sickness and Sudafed.  Ick.  i did my best to act normal, i didn't want the bride to know or feel bad that i wasn't feeling well...i think she caught on at brunch this morning but it's hard to act well when you've got kleenex shoved up your nose.

but at least all that is over.  i really didn't want to eat because i wasn't feeling well, but put stuff on my plate to play the role of health and picked at it.  i'm still afraid to get on the scale, though.  ick.  i hate food.  i hate weight.  i hate everything.

my mother in law is coming to visit thursday and is staying three weeks.  kill me now.  we have such a small apartment that having a guest makes it very cramped.  she's a nice lady but doesn't speak much english and it is always awkward to try and talk with her.  plus she follows my h around and waits on him hand and foot and it drives me bananas...just contributes to him thinking that i should do that as well (heeeelll no!)  plus my h is making noise about bringing her here to live permanently.  SHIT NO.  i can't.  even if she doesn't live with us, i can't have her as a permanent fixture in my life.  i don't want a third person in my marriage - it's hard enough as it is.  if my h pushes this, it could be a real problem.

i've decided to fast tomorrow - i'm going to take advantage of being sick with no appetite.